she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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