May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I will be naked everywhere
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
