Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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