I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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