and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
