those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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