I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What a dumb baby whore.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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