Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
