And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
