i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
