So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize