You're my little dorito
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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