so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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