haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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