wanna go halves on a baby?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How drunk are you?
Completed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
