Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
