So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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