I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
