JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
