i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it because I queefed?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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