apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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