when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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