No more Irish car bombs ever.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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