Are we in a gay sports bar?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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