im six kinds of drunk right now
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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