Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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