Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
