When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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