She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
