wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
