you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
