Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
