You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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