Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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