Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
