You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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