What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
