Me. At least after what I've been through.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
