too bad you live with your parents still
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize