Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
