i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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