it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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