I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
