1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
