I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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