Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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