JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
