i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
