You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
