I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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