wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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