So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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