I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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