you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
