Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
