So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
