I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize